I knew the dead wanted a medium of communication

But the living feared it was dreams

Some swore it was my mind

Others said I needed a bridge

I am not what they say

I am a messenger

When I deliver the symbols within my trajectories they scream pathos

Just as my sunken heart begins to feel sad they plead for endurance

I do not want to leave you with tears

I only come bearing news from places where echoes don’t touch

These echoes are from beyond the reach of


Places you wished had voices ,

Love ones and enemies without words.

Just give the messenger the news and add the addresses

Sealed with teardrops,sent with love.


Featured post


I have been tender

Yet life came at me

And the lilies of the valley

Pour out droplets of dews

How refreshing it is to know

That the best moments of our lives

A praying heart receives from the Lord.

Will soon be bestowed on us

Thanks to the Universe

Our gifting days are here with us.

Join me sing praises folks

The season of abundance is upon us.


I spoke to Annet. She told me the worst news ever. My rival was my half sister.

She had met them while they were making out in his office on a Friday night , in Greg’s office . But never bothered to tell anyone until I pleaded with her. She kept the secret sacred until she snitched well enough to gather adequate information about her.

Today she realized , anytime they left the office together, he takes her to our home.

While I was at work during working hours, my husband is messing up with my half sister.

Annet , the gratitude that fills my heart is enormous. Thank you so much. I just can’t thank you enough. In a world full of wickedness I have you to be thankful for.

The last thing I was willing to do is to cry over a marriage that has my pride shattered. Or a Sister that lowered her dignity to the four extreme edges of a king sized bed. I went home and spent the weekend going out and engaging in clumsy activities at home to keep me busy. I packed all my clothes and cleaned everywhere that needed to be tidied . I informed my mother, about coming home but didn’t say the details.

Finally, I went out on Sunday afternoon in a pink kimono and a white dress beneath it. I didn’t know why it took me so long to wash my car or get a pregnancy test done. While the Cleaners were seriously washing the car , I quickly entered a supermarket and purchased a test strip.I wasn’t nervous because , I didn’t want the child anymore. The doctors always said I could get pregnant but it never happened. This pain in my stomach doesn’t feel like cramps.

I entered the washroom at the supermarket, gently dropped my handbag washed my hands and went straight in. I did the test and the longest three minutes of my life was that day. I took my phone off the strip and I felt myself trembling, the strip fell and I got down to pick it. I laughed hard that anyone who was in the next cubicle would hear me laugh. Then the tears fell. God why ?, Why will you punish me to this extreme pace?. Is there any sin from my past that I didn’t know about that has come to play Karma’s cards on me ? Is my story just full of bitterness? God why ? What have I done ? God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is my sin that I can’t be pardoned? Why must I carry the memory of betrayal along with me in the next journey of life? I wanted to move on!!!!. Suddenly it dawned on me . I was still in the washroom holding in to the sink as though it was human . I have to go I said to myself and left the room like I wasn’t the lady who was clueless seconds ago.

On my way out of the room , I called my mother, She was being funny as usual but I wasn’t being the chatter box today. “Are you Okay? “, Yes mom . Where is Sandra? “She left home an hour ago , I don’t really know where she went” . Please tell her to call me when she gets home later.

My regards to Dad and tell Fiifi I will bring him his black shirt tomorrow. Fiifi always wanted a shirt from my company but I never get to remember my promise until he runs to open the gate for me whenever I arrive at home.The best security guard my family ever had since we moved into that neighborhood. Some people just leave joy in your paths while others do the other wise.

I paid for the cleaning service and drove gently home. At least I wasn’t alone in this battle, I had a partner, my little blessing. I kept rubbing my tummy and praying for a safe and healthy baby.

I got down from the car , picked up my frosty bite ice cream and entered the room through the garage. He wasn’t even in the room . A faint sound from the washroom opposite the kitchen door made me curious. Who was in there? Greg! Well there was no response. I got there and pushed the door.

Jesus ! Greg! Greg ! He had a knife in his chest . Suddenly, I forgot the hurt , the betrayal, the pain and threw all I had in my hands away. My car keys, the ice cream, my phone and hand bag all flew out of my hands.

Greg we’re going to be parents soon! Look at me , Please hold on to my hands and stay with me. He kept saying I’m sorry I am…sorr……yy .Sandy did this to me ….

Greg get up ! My fatal mistake ! I touched the knife , I hugged him. His blood was all over my dress.

I rushed out to get help but I met the police officers in the hallway. I asked them to help me without even thinking. Then the tallest man , which I later got to know was the Police inspector said it was reported to them that The was a noise and argument from this house. So the neighbors called the police. After they couldn’t get in themselves.

I just got in officer, my husband is on the floor dying please help me first! We got in and he was already dead. I didn’t know what exactly I did to incur these unpleasant things that came my way, but I was optimistic about life.

This situation is very farcical and I need God to be freed. He was taken out and with my hand behind I was escorted out of the house.

My mother cried more than I did. I lost my sense of feel maybe. The pain in my heart didn’t allow tears to fall . I was broken and the aperture among the pieces made me unsentimental. Right there I decided my fate. But that of my baby was unknown to me. I waited trial and the final day came.

I had to listen to every details the judge said . I became the newest inmate at the female wing . I felt condemned and lost. I never said anything to my parents concerning the revelations of my late husband.

The first 8 months of my journey in prison was the best of my motherhood experience. It had it ups and downs. I would touch my belly and nice things to this child . My baby you’ll grow loving your life and finding happiness, You’ll be Thywill no matter what gender you are. The will of the lord will be fulfilled in your life.

My baby became my companion, the nauseous pains, the frequent bleeding and discomfort were good enough to hold on.

I was almost due. I remembered waking up at night and just panicking.

Then one night , I began to draft my plans for my next life and how my Thywill should be brought up.

The tears fell anytime I remembered I will never know how my child looks like. It was for this child’s happiness I chose that life for myself. I was afraid of any further emotional attachment that will make me suffer the rest of my life in Prison.

At 2:43am on a warm Tuesday dawn I had the most horrific pain in my life. I knew it was about to happen . At least I was lucky to be rushed to a hospital in the city after several attempts to push out my baby failed. The labor lasted for hours.

Just before the final procedures to help me with my last attempt to deliver the baby. I handed my drafted ideas to Madam Lena. The head of the supervisors at the female wing.

She wanted to be certain about my decisions and wanted my Mum to confirm if they wanted to keep the baby until I am freed.

But I was scared of Sandra, I wanted my Child faraway from home where my heart was no more in love with.

I didn’t know if I sounded selfish but at least I wanted this kid given out a deserving family who needed my blessings to smile at life.

I was in too much pain to say more , I kept breathing through the contractions, my story was different, there was no love one to pat my back or give me ice cubes , I didn’t even have a single picture to treasure the moment but it is all good.

I closed my eyes and pushed the baby out it was difficult yet I did it .It cried like a Fighter , I smelled my baby and kept touching the head then the Nurses shout congratulations and I said thank you with my eyes still closed. I was too scared to stare at my child for fear that I might be filled with love and never let go. I wanted this child taken out of my Womb and handed over to a new person.

The cutting of the umbilical cord was the climax for me . My heart skipped severally and I thought I died a million times. That was my child

Yes my child , quickly I opened my eyes and my heart ached , he looked just like his Dad. The nose , head full of hair like his baby pictures unlike me who had no hair , until now . It is genetics I cannot fight it.

I love you Thywill and you will forever be my baby.

I breastfed him against my initial plans and my mother arrived.

The details of the new family were haded over to me in an envelope but I promised never to open until I was ready.

Today marks 3 years of being in captivity alone with my thoughts.

My Stepdad visited me today , because through the pain I closed my heart on him . I shared details of the tragic event that led to my arrest with him . He kept saying he was sorry and wanted to see me after Annet visited the house on my birthday. I smiled away and told them they were meaningful to me once but not anymore.

He promised to keep fighting till I am freed and he kept his promise true. All legal works commenced and daily my hope arises .

But I was hopeless about one thing. Thywill.

Was he happy where he was?

Does he consider me a bad Mom?

Will I be selfish to go out searching for him?

I just didn’t know how to think about it without it upsetting me .

It’s five years later and my life seems to be getting better now . I have few days to be out of here , while the search for my Jezebel sister begins.

But I do not know what exactly my broken heart holds. A mess in search of the love of her child or a totally different person who wants to start all over again .

PART 3 WILL BE OUT SOON . Watch this space.

Hi Lovelies

Hope everyone is fine?

I stopped writing because I had a great breakdown and I just lost interest to continue, Iā€™m beginning to recovery slowly.

Happy New Year to you all , may the decade bring us great achievements and happiness



Here comes the evidence of deeds

My initial regret but aftermath

The thought of you scared me

I have regretted my deed and forgiven my self

But to you I hold no grudge

Help me with strength day after day

Whether you are identified with the pinks or the baby blues

My love will never have any boundary

But may I never pick his type among the masses

You’re my perfect reward

Though you’re an emblem of him

You have outdone his errors

The child of the human I hate

Be my refuge oh little one

And give me joy when you arrive

For you I wait with hope

For a brighter day.

Hi guys!!!!

How is everyone one doing

I want to start writing again . Since it is a passion I cannot discard

Watch out for this space!!!!!!!

Penning My Thoughts

Unlike her, my bra straps won’t strangle me

But what I feel is the ache in my chest cavity

When I inhaled the air it felt different

And when I exhaled nothing moved then I realized

That the mind needs peace for the soul to be alive

Give me freedom

Give me freedom

Set my mind to liberty

And watch me return from exile

For here is the thoughts of an entrapped mind

Living in a body it can’t recognize.

You Can Make Me Forget

I am disgusted by your love šŸ’•

Your affections give my life no taste

Yet it feels like an addiction

You can make me forget

That I am a prisoner of passion

Each time you hurt me

Give me a memory and a scar

Those things won’t go away

No one can gainsay

An imbroglio idea

A horrible prisoner

Addicted to captivity


Yes I agree, it is indisputable that good communication was needed in every relationship.

What of the gentleman who is not willing to talk to me when I want a conversation,or even probe for answers?. I was certain that my husband was cheating, but I didn’t know who it was, whether it was a coworker, or a church member, a business associate, I just couldn’t tell.

It was driving me insane because,he kept telling me he will leave me at the end of the year, if I’m unable to get pregnant.

I knew I was fit because my medical conditions and results said so.

The arguments to convince Greg to see the doctors didn’t yield much results. He just wouldn’t allow us attend family parties anymore because he always nagged about hurts and emotional break downs from seeing other kids.The blue and Pink napkins on the dining table reminded him of my barrenness and I had to take them off .

It’s 2:33am and I couldn’t get any sleep. I kept staring at his face . The bedside lamp was bright enough to see him in the dark. The man who was once a man of my dreams . Goodness every thing about him irritates me now more than ever. From tossing in bed , to singing while in the shower , how he packs his car in the driveway to why he refuses to check on me sometimes. Everything! Absolutely no affection for him anymore.Lord Jesus what can I do to help us out of this mess. Could it be that the problem was from my husband that’s why he is being reluctant or is he afraid of something?

Maybe I should leave a note by his breakfast and go home for some few days. I dare not tell his parents we’re having issues because they won’t believe me. Our pictures went up on his status always and we speak to them laughing like our teeth had gold platings. Cheesing so hard and leaning on each other during video calls to show affection. The worst happens when the call ends and we switch into the “not friends anymore zone”.

How weird that love could turn this sour, just because of babies.

Then it crossed my mind for the first time in 3 years .

The craziest thought

3 years down, eternity no more

I don’t want to do this anymore

I want a divorce.

If he is cheating on me , and I can prove it, I will be free to go. Secondly we can’t even have babies.

I had enough rest after my long thoughts, and couldn’t wake up early to have a chat before he left home.

Hello! Annet !.This is Lizzy , Mr Greg’s wife. Good morning.

Good morning Madam

I took your contact from his phone book , is he in the office please?

Yes please , he got in a while ago but reported he was taking you to see your doctor .

He will go out soon, Is there anything you want me to tell…..him?

Hello Annet!


Please don’t let him know I called you .I will talk to you this evening. I said and dropped the call.

Just like any other day , it was Evening.

I waited patiently for my husband to return from work and I asked where he was when I came by his office during the early hours of the day?

His quick response made me sad ” Must you always irritate me when I am in a good mood?”

I smiled bitterly and left the room for him to sleep and rest. I read between the lines. I’m loosing the man who swore heaven to be with me. I knew something was wrong. But what if we can make it right? You know that tiny hope of optimism….

Sneaking into the guest bedroom, I called Annet and poured out my heart to her unapologetically. I wanted to speak to someone ,else I will loose my brains. The miasma I was living in was too much for me. I told her to help me find a proof, but I didn’t tell her I needed a divorce. She promised to help anyway and I trusted her even if I shouldn’t have.

A lot more could go wrong in a month but I could wait anyway.

To be honest , it was depressing, his harsh treatments and verbal abuses made these last moments bitter for me. One cold night he didn’t return early and I was worried. I slept on the couch and didn’t hear him come in . But I felt a shadow fall on me. Then he touched my waist and asked me to get up and go to bed. I waited for him to take his bath and I didn’t know how in three months of not being intimate, we could get excited after locking lips. His lips tasted like that of a stranger but I gave in to his pleasure . We made out, and the flames were horrible because he lost direction of the things that mean a lot to me when it comes to being intimate, but I went ahead anyway. yes don’t judge me.

Two weeks went by so fast and I kept waiting for the last few days for Annet to help me.

I was walking up into my office when Annet called!

I was excited!. But my excitement suddenly ended,when I felt an excruciating pain in my stomach. I grabbed the door knob for support and couldn’t pick up Annet’s incoming call.

The call ended and I picked up my phone and dialed her number to listen to the greatest news.



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